Flying the Next: Help Your Child Move Out

Posted by Kerri Mosher on July 18, 2017 in Blog |

Eventually, the time comes when your child has to move out. Some do this when they go to college, which can be a kind of halfway moving out when they return for vacations. Others might take a little longer to go, or they might move out once they have their first full-time job. Whenever it is that they leave, helping them out can make the process easier for them and for you. Although you might be glad to see them become more independent, it can also be difficult to let them go. Being involved in the process of moving them out gives you time to deal with it, adjust and accept what’s happening.

Encouraging Them to Move Out


When you think it’s time for your child to move out, they might not be on the same page. Perhaps you’re ready to see them be more independent, but they’re perfectly comfortable staying at home. However, they need to leave at some point, so you need to give them some reasons to. There are a few ways parents choose to approach this issue. Some take a hard stance by setting a move-out deadline, after which their child will have to go. However, if you want to soften your approach, an alternative is to require full rent and other contributions if they want to stay. If it costs as much as living somewhere else, having their own space is the better alternative. Remind them of the advantages of moving out too. No more parents being embarrassing when they have friends over, for starters.


How Much Should You Be Involved?


One question a lot of parents ask themselves is how much they should be involved in their child moving out. It should be an exercise in independence, but it’s also not that unusual to lend a helping hand. Even adults need help with stressful jobs like moving home. However, you don’t want to be too involved, in case you seem smothering or you end up doing everything for them. The important thing is to get a balance between lending your assistance and doing too much. Offer some help where it might be needed, but try to guide your child instead of directly doing things for them. You don’t want to end up helping them every time they move.


Helping Out with Money


If you’re thinking about ways you can help, making a monetary contribution might come to mind. If they’re going to be renting a property, you might want to help them with their security deposit or other costs – especially if it might get them out of your house faster! Another option could be to help your child buy a property or even buy one for them. However, this certainly isn’t an option for every parent. Even if you can afford it, you might think your child should work toward owning a property. If you do decide to help with money, remember it doesn’t have to be a gift. It could be a loan that you ask them to pay back.


Choosing the First Home for Your Child


Helping your child decide where to live when they move out can sometimes be tough, but it’s also a little fun. There are a few ways they might approach looking for somewhere to live, depending on their budget and where they want to live, among other factors. A lot of people will move in with roommates when they first move out. They might also be looking for somewhere with a boyfriend or girlfriend. If they’re looking for just a room, it’s going to be a different process than if they’re looking for a studio apartment. A property that’s just for them allows them more freedom, with no need to navigate living with others. But it does mean that they miss out on the experience of living with other people their own age.

Help with Understanding Their Rights


If your child is going to be renting for the first time, making sure they understand their rights as a tenant is a good idea. Before you pass on anything you think you know, make sure you have your facts right. If you last rented a property many years ago, some things could certainly have changed since then. You can spend some time together checking what their rights and responsibilities are. There might be some important things for them to know, such as whether the landlord needs to provide advance notice of a visit to the property.


Providing Furniture and Accessories


Some people choose a furnished property for their first adult home. However, they still might need some extra things, such as kitchen equipment or bedding. If you want to help out, setting your child up with some of the essentials for their adult life is a good way to do it. If the property is unfurnished or needs a few extra pieces, you could help with furniture too. You don’t have to buy anything new, though. Perhaps giving them some of the things you own and buying replacements for yourself could be an option.


Help with Moving In


Helping with the move is another way to offer your assistance without being too intrusive. Moving home is often stressful because there’s a lot to do, although doing it for the first time can be a bit easier. Your child might only have one room full of things that belong to them, so there’s probably no need for a huge moving truck. You can provide help on moving day to get them settled.


Easing the Transition


Moving out of home can sometimes be a bit of a shock. It’s hard for both parent and child to deal with. To make it a little easier, try to stay in touch while making sure you allow your child their freedom. You can talk on the phone or meet up if you’re close enough, and let your child know you’re there if they need help.


It’s a big change when your child finally moves out. Although it can be hard to deal with, it’s a necessary part of them growing up.



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