This post is dedicated to my cousin Bruce Kees. He left behind a son that truly misses him and family that will never forget him. When Bruce was around he made you laugh, made you feel loved, and he always tried to keep the peace.
7 Months after my baby sister’s drug overdose we lost another family member to a drug overdose.
My son Michael got into taking pills and he was on parole because he had just spent 4 years in prison. I will explain more on that later. My husband and I owned a large house and had several of our adult children and their families living with us.
When we realized that our consent threats and consent nagging was not doing anything we went to his parole officer. She would test him and it would come back positive and she still did nothing.
My son 23 years old at the time started hanging out with my cousin (his 2nd cousin) which he was only 27 years old. They started drinking all the time and taking pills and my cousin was sleeping at my house in the living room. One day my son called me and told me that my cousin was messed up and he was bringing him home. They were out hanging out with friends and getting into trouble.
My son comes home with my cousin and he helps him get something to eat and I can tell his is so high it was unreal. My son then helped him in the living room and put him on our couch that was right across from my bedroom. This is killing me in the insides because I hated seeing these boys throwing away their lives.
My cousin is passed out and my son tells me he is leaving for the night. Nothing I can do he is an adult.
I am in bed and I was awake until about 3 am because I could not sleep with my cousin snoring so loud, but finally I feel asleep. I woke up to my husband shaking me at 8 am in the morning. I opened my eyes and my husband tells me ( Kerri you need to call 911 Bruce is not responsive). I jumped out of bed looked at Bruce and seen that he was a shade of grey and he was cold, mucus was coming out his nose and mouth. I called 911 and they told us to get him to the floor and lie him flat. My husband and I did that and my husband was doing CPR but in all honesty, he was gone.
I had told my husband that I could not watch these boys doing this and that he had to take Bruce back home tomorrow. Dealing with one would be easier than dealing with two them.
When the ambulance got there and was attending to Bruce, a flood of fear and panic hit me hard. I had no clue who to call because I lost touch with most of that side of the family. I called my dad crying and he called my step sister Mona. I then found Bruce’s phone and got in touch with his dad. All I could tell him was that Bruce needed him, he was in trouble in a hurt way.
The ambulance said they got vital signs but it was probably the medicine. They gave him the medicine 5 times. I think it was a shot but I really have no clue.
The ambulance kept asking what he took and I had no clue, I knew my son Michael knew, then it hit me, where is my son?? Is he lying dead somewhere?
Finally, my son was home. My daughter in law Ashley knew he was with her cousin so she called her and got in touch with my son. My cousin Bruce was drinking and had to take Xanax and then took Suboxone on top of all that.
They took him to the hospital but I didn’t go because this was just 7 months after my sister’s overdose and I knew he was already gone. I could not handle it. I had also lost a son and the reality that I could very easily lose another was right there in my thoughts.
I had never heard of Suboxone or had no clue what it was. I was told later that once he took that on top of the Xanax and the drinking his was gone.
The hospital kept giving the family false hope, I know because he died at my house.
Some of that side of the family said I took jewelry off him and took things that belong to him, it was not bad enough that I had to deal with all of my own guilt, then I was being accused of stealing from a deceased family member. The only thing I got from his death was the vision of him lying there dead. I started hating my house and could not stand to be in the front room. I wanted out and I got out.
After all, that happened my son stop doing drugs for about week. I left the state in search to find a home in the south and while I was gone my son started doing the drugs again. He got into some trouble and ended up back in prison.
I feel like a horrible mom when I say this but I think him going back to prison may have saved his life. As I am writing this I am kinda worried because I have not heard from him and that is out of the normal for him. He didn’t call on Easter which is really out of the norm.
Due to deaths I have seen and the loved ones I have lost, I will still refuse to take narcotics for personal issues I suffer from. I found this website that can give you ways to help a loved one with a drug addiction. How to Help a Drug Addict
When my sister was struggling with a drug addition I looked at differently then I do now. It is easy to look at someone with a drug addiction and judge them. When you are caring for a baby that was born addicted it is easy to look at the mother and be judgmental and have anger for her. I want to help people get help and I no longer judge them, I pray for them and their families.
In all honesty, I have no clue what it is like to be drug dependent. I do know that your loved ones are not themselves when they are drug dependent and that is when they need you the most. Don’t wait till it is too late to get them help. Drugs are killing so many of our loved ones, we need to educate ourselves so we can be there for them, and get them the help they need before they are gone and you are left with guilt because you didn’t know what to do to help them.
This is a poem that posted on Facebook at Where Words Fail, Music Speaks
A Poem On DRUGS !!!
Hello, my name is DRUGS – I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that’s just the start.
I’m more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
and if you need me, remember I’m easily found, I live all around you, in schools and in town.
I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.
My power is awesome; try me you’ll see, but if you do, you may NEVER break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I’ll own your soul.
When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie. You do what you have to just to get high.
The crimes you’ll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms.
You’ll lie to your mother; you’ll steal from your dad When you see their tears, you should feel sad.
But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised, I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from god and separate friends.
I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I’ll be with you always, right by your side.
You’ll give up everything… your family, your home… your friends, your money, then you’ll be alone.
I’ll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I’m finished with you you’ll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I’ll drive you insane.
I’ll ravish your body; I’ll control your mind. I’ll own you completely; your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I’ll give you while lying in bed, the voices you’ll hear from inside your head, the sweats, the shakes, the visions you’ll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me, But then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part.
You’ll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power and chose to be bold.
You could have said no, and just walked away, If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I’ll be your master; you will be my slave, I’ll even go with you when you go to your grave.
Now that you have met me , what will you do? Will you try me or not? Its all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, I’ll take you to hell!