On 2/22/2012 the most horrible thing that could ever happen to our family happen. My son John 19 years old left us. On this day four years ago my son John came over from across the street where he lived alone to eat dinner with us. I remember we had Sonic that night. When he was there he seemed to be in good spirits and when he got ready to leave I told him the door would be unlocked and he was welcome to come in anytime. I didn’t like him being alone. He grab the door knob to go out and I said I love you and he turned around and said I love you to. This was the very last time I seen him! I went to bed that night and I was in bed for about 45 mins and the phone rang. I got up to answer the phone and it was a friend of his that was talking to him on Facebook and she said can you please go check on John. I woke my husband up (Bill) and he went over there. I am not sure how long he was gone but I heard the car flying back up the drive way and bottom out. I opened the door and he said call 911 John isn’t breathing. I was on the phone with 911 with NO knowledge as to what was going on, Bill was in the truck on his way back over there. I woke up my son and asked him to watch my other son. I went out to get in the car and it would not move so I started running down the driveway and across the highway to the street. I got to the street and the ambulance was turning down the street. When I got there nobody would let me in the back yard. My son had hung himself. He suffered from bipolar and depression. I was trying so hard to get him into a doctor but it was taking to long to get insurance. I lived in Arkansas at the time and he had come there in January. This is the first time I have been able to share my story in public. I knew he was depressed on Facebook because that wasn’t out of the normal for him and that is why I was trying so hard to get him help. John would normally come over and let himself in when he thought about hurting himself. That night after he left the house he visited a man across the road and talk about God and talked about suicide. This is the worst day of my life and my biggest fear in life is losing another child. This is part of who I am and why I have decided to share.